today ain't a smooth sailing day~...

at the least..half of it wasn't...

was at a Dialogue Session today when I screwed up..

Badly...

f**k...

no point talking about it too since it's screwed..

and on my way back home..i can't help but ponder why and how..

and to add on...was in the locker room when i step on a pin..

yes.. PIN..

those collar pin kind..

and guess what..

i was only wearing my socks..

blood came out of my sole and i was like in shock and pain and blood..

little blood la..

but still...

damn 'sway' man...

now my feet is like on all different kinds of medications..

one for the corn on my feet...another for the infections..and now..antiseptic for the nail thingy..

can't really wear covered shoes but then..no choice since shoes are a must at work...

don't know why also..

but just felt lethargic and tired..

and through some way...

i know some people are hating me..

i do give some damn about it..

i mean..who wouldn't give a damn when you are disliked?

i'll be lying big time if i said i aint'..

and truth is..these people are kind of 'close but not that close' kind of people..

welll..it does effect me a little to know that they have now openly declare that i wasn't that much 'liked'..

but frankly speaking..i can't have the best of both worlds..

i can't possibly please everyone and have them like me all the same..

i am living with it though..

be it they like or hate me..

i mean..there's only this much i can do and some other that i can't..

i choose to like some of them and hate some of them..

and so they have a choice to like or hate me as well..

it's more like a choice thingy..

if they have already chosen to hate me..

by all means..

not like i do not give a damn..

but it's more like..

do i have a choice over their choice?

and so..enough said..

if you are wondering who these people are..

they are a bunch of outside friends whom contact has been the least..

not worth the space and time to specially mention anyway..

and i might be in stupid shit if they decide to read my blog and find out that..

alicia blogged about them...

and sue me or something..

oh well..anonymous is the best policy~

and btw..

do you people believe in reincarnation?

i am starting to believe in it though..

when i was small..

i used to think that people who died would get reincarnated into their own family again..

and the circle goes on and on..

so that each person would always belong to a particular family...

that thought was actually placed somewhere far far behind my brains..

when it just occured to me yesterday about my family..

i ain't sounding creepy or anything here..

but see if this makes sense to you..

my cousin passed away in early 1983...

and i was born in late 1983..

my grand-dad passed away in the late 1990s and my nephew was born sometime the year after..

my grand-ma passed away just last year and my cousin was found to be pregnant recently..

i don't know if this is a pure coincidence or what..

but nevertheless...

i still believe in that small but rusty old though of mine..

in fact..it was on my mind for like the past 2 days..with me trying to make sense of it..

not sure what kind of sense i am making..

but it just seems too coincidental..

anyway..

i have got this feeling that my cousin's baby would be a gal..

no particular reason...just an instinct..

haha..remember how people always say that a woman's instinct is damn accurate?

haha..

maybe mine is k..

we'll know in like...months..or rather 8 or 7 more months ?

haha..

i am gonna be a auntie again~

and talking about children...

just brings my thoughts to marriage..

so many people are getting married~

everyone around me..

of all races and religions..

i am gonna have a big hole this year...

but still..

it's something to be happie about..

seeing friends having found happiness in that person they can depend on..

it's a good thing in fact..

i might be a conservative gal in my thoughts on marriage..

but i truly believe that marriage is for life..

it's like a holy matrimonial..

something you have to go through till death occurs..

ain't a game or a relief or anything..

but then..

why am i going into such marriage and children when i started off with a screwed day..

haha..

meeting juliet tomorrow...

i better remember her microsoft cd and the stuff me and longan bought for her in thailand..

oh yup..

kelvin set up this webbie cum forum thingy..

check out if free..
http://www.ephenomenon.org

it's for the warcraft game people...but there's also a general forum for chats and discussions and stuff...

People of Tones4U...Come join la~

we need to find a space to make a comeback!

haha..

i miss Tones4U...actually i miss my poems and blog there most..

too bad...all ruined by a stupid hacker..

haiz..

alright..i am going to sleep liao...good night...