know what?...after posting the previous entry and consolidating all my thoughts on life and death...i can't help but wanna post this 1 entry..


i know i know..i might be over-reacting..i mean, life and death is but part and parcel of life..it so called compliments each other..just like black and white..sun and moon..chilli and ketchup..


these days..i have been seeing deaths more often than not..babies..adults..


i am more or less immune to life and death due to work..but it's just that, once in a while, you tend to think thru it and reflect about life's purposes and everything and everyone around you..


today, when i thought about all these, i can't help but immediately took out my hp and started to key in my thoughts into a SMS..my whole mind thinking of sending it to one other person..


but then, i deleted it away anyway..not that i did not like it..but the thought of me over-reacting sets in straight when i get my senses back..


haiz..call me a female..a gal..a lady..a 'char-bor'...but we are all like that..especially me...when i am seriously in the mood for something..i would even go to the moon and back for you..


but when my heart is not in it..no matter how great the chances or how wonderful life gets..you can expect something 'not-so-nice' from me...


hmmm...


anyway, change of topic..was chatting with grace on MSN awhile ago...


and it's amazing how she knows me damn well..and she could read in-between the lines of what i am trying to say or think about..


amazing but true..haha...some times, it's very true when people say that you dun need a lot of friends..but just a few good close ones..


friends are better in quality and not quantity..


:D


btw..went and got a new watch for myself today..from Solvil Titus...i simply love it like crazy..for all sorts of reasons...pricing was a bit steep though..close to 400 bucks..but then..ahem...alright la..it's another story but tell u guys another day..


this pic was taken using my BenQ Siemens S88 hp..it's amazing how the macro function works and could actually close-up to such an extend..and this is why i am loving it lots still...





more pics another day..i've got tonnes of pics to put in here..


haha..


and these days..people are all telling me that they know about my secret..haha..and why am i the last to know i have a secret?...haha...so is there a real secret?...


well...u to find out..me to know...or maybe i would say, now's not the right time yet..to comment on anything..oh well...maybe it's just me..or maybe it's just nothing..


was typing when this particular line pops up in mind..


"love people for what they are and not what they should be.."


i love a lot of people with my heart..
though i might not show it in my acts or even in words..
i care..and i really do..
but some times, it's just not me to show what i truly feel..


ending the post with lots of love..
aLicia..




think by now you guys would have flipped thru' papers and realised that 1 of Taiwan's pretty and talented star had passed away... my facts are pretty 'not-so-updated'..cause' the news was in Chinese language and i can't really read and digest Chinese characters that well..


below are what i have gathered from my trust worthy Straits Times..


here's her pic..Xu Wei Lun..aged 28 years old..she was involved in a freaky car accident last week...she and her assistant were rushing off to some performances when the car driven by her assistant hit on to a divider on the highway..


i used to like her quite a bit cause' she was very chio..you know, a kind of pretty face that makes you feel good...














they then decided to get out of the car to make a check..but then a huge truck (i think so..) came and rear-ended their vehicle..accordingly to papers..it was a bloody mess..blood everywhere..and because she was gettin' out of the car to make a check..seatbelt was not on..


she subsequently fell into a coma...level no. 3...heard it's the worst..and her heart just stopped beating few days back..


it's a sad news i would say..considering that she's only 28 years..in the 'blooming' stage of her career..and she's a pretty talented star too..having taken French Literature in Uni...and starred in many 'teeny boopy' shows that earned her many young fans..


it's a pity that everything has to end when it's going well..especially so when it's so sudden..it's like in split of seconds..one moment you are talking and alright..the other moment you are in a deep coma with the inability to move..


i guess the reason why i also felt especially upset and disturbed by the news was her age..i mean..she was only 4 years older than i am..though i face death straight in the face at times..some times too straight..i still can't help but think of how vulnerable life is..


though her news came as a very sudden shock..it sends out a reminder to me to treasure the many loved ones around me..cause' i never know when a particular moment will be my last..


i guess for Xu Wei Lun's family...it's grief beyond consolence and repair..i mean, just when you had raised up your child well and good..and thinking that it's time to relax and take a back seat..out of the blue, someone comes calling and telling you that your daughter's in a coma..and she's gone forever just like that..


it's simply more than heartaching and more than what words can describe..and suddenly i can't help but feel that no matter what, nothin' aint that tough..


it's a sad incident that no one wants to happen..but i believe God has its reason to take people away..someday we'll know..


it's a great loss not only to her family, but to the acting industry...her fans and friends..


to ou readers out there...do treasure life and everyone around you..death is a straightforward stage..it comes quietly and leaves silently..


you'll never know when a moment can be your last..so the least you can do now is to leave a life with no regrets..




this is my 100th post in blogspot...


haha...it's amazing how time and words flies...since i started to blog in here in March 2006..this blog and me had really came a long way..thru all the good and bad..happie and sad times..


and i ain't gonna blog about anything in this 100th post..just merely wanted to leave a note..it ain't that easy to be at your 100th post..it's in fact amazing how someone as lazy as me could still continue blogging since i started it few years back..


it's so called a 'in' thing to be blogging then..remember the 'xiaxue' saga?...but i guess i eventually made this a place to store many memories and things i want to remember...a place to vent my anger and frustrations...a place to laugh about life's events and make funny jokes out of everything..


:D


and yup, this is my short post...


good day people.. :D




i feel kind of good the past 2 days..been sleeping well and eating good..but that's of course, after deducting the time i spent on flu and wits...


currently...i am multi-tasking yet again...watching 'The Peak' on channel 8..surfing the net..typing in this entry..online shopping..msn-ing..SMS-sing..singing to my fav tunes..


all at the same time..smart eh?...haha


'The Peak' is a boring show i would say..with the same old story plots and love triangles..A loves B but B loves C and C loves D...but the most pathetic one would have to be poor A..loving someone but not loved in the end..


aiyah..this kind of thingy only happens on TV..i mean, where the hell could you find so many guys interested in you?..all at the same time somemore..


still remember when i was young, i had always planned my life everyday...i would picture myself to be a successful person working at Shenton..knowing a wonderful guy who lives in his own apartment..owns a car..is a manager (manager cause' that was pretty 'high-class' and well established for a primary sch kid then..)...and gettin' married at 26...having kids at 28..moving into a landed property by 30..open my own business by 35...earn my first one million by 36..


what a simple yet tough dream...looking back, i was damn naive..but how am i to be blamed..that was my primary school dream okie...haha..


and now, i am like turning 24 at the end of the year..achieving only this far..a stable job i do have but not along Shenton..it's along some kampong road..beautiful clothes i do have but not for work..i have got uniforms for work..bfs i have had..but none really came close to my expectations..they were in fact, not really what i needed..maybe what i want..money i have earned but nothin very near a fraction of a million...


my only consolation is having learnt life's good lessons and still be blessed and well living with family and friends..


these days, i no longer expect much anyway..i made everything simplier and do not think or expect as much anymore..


a good or bad thing i dun know..but i am still trying hard to achieve a lot of things that i never had and to make up for those times that i have simply wasted away..


things are going tougher these days..i dun feel good about certain stuff...and there has been a lot of questions in life recently..i am faced with a new chance to start anew..i dunno if this is indeed a right road...i am trying best to achieve whatever i can and to try a lot of new things..trying and going forward..that's what kel used to say..dun look back...which is kind of true...the only road you should take in life is ahead..and not turning back...


'i love what i see and what i feel these days..
i love God and the little surprises he brings me once in a while..


i love nature more now and have since learnt to appreciate life more..
i love myself more than ever and i have learnt that no one can take my self-worth away..


i love the little events in life..
they bring me closer to life..


and i love the fact that i have learnt to let go..
to not love him cause' he no longer needs me to.
that there's someone else who's better for that.
and i am beginning to love that fact a lot.'


and on a different note...


here's something not so new...but for fun peace and laughter..

Sagittarius - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits: Your playful nature brings out the happy inner-child in dates You're willing to take risks in love... and reap the rewards You've got a killer sense of humor that gets talking with any hottie you meet Your negative traits: Sometimes your sarcasm comes off as biting and abrasive You can be brutally honest, tactless, and truthful even when it hurts You're such a free spirit that you find it hard to commit to one person Your ideal partner: Someone high energy who will pick up and out with you whenever Is creative and fun - thinking of new adventures for the two of you Is bold... and not afraid to tell you "I love you" early on Your dating style: Unpredictable. You never know how the night is going to end up. Your seduction style: Daring. You're always pushing to try something new in the bedroom. Full of imagination. You've always got a new fantasy you're dying to try. Spiritually driven. Sex for you can be an other-worldly act. Tips for the future: Realize that while freedom is great - sometimes a stable relationship is better. It's not all about you. Focus on your partner's needs every once and a while. Make up your mind about your partner, and stick to it. Your fickle will ruin things otherwise. Best color to attract mate: Purple Best day for a date: Thursday

You Are a Powdered Devil's Food Donut

A total sweetheart on the outside, you love to fool people with your innocent image. On the inside you're a little darker, richer, and more complex. You're a hedonist who demands more than one pleasure at a time. Decadent and daring, you test the limits of human indulgence.

Your Life Is Worth...

$813,500

*i think i am worth more than that lor!

You Are The Fool

You are a fascinating person who is way beyond the concerns of this world. Young at heart, you are blissfully unaware of any dangers ahead. You are a true wanderer - it has be difficult finding your place in this world. Full of confidence, you are likely to take a leap of faith. Your fortune: You are about to embark on a new phase in your life. This may mean changing locations, jobs, friends, or love status. You are open about what the future will bring, and free of worry. You have made your peace with fate, and you're ready to start down your new path.

You Are a Smiley Face Cookie

You're happy go lucky. So happy, in fact, it's a little past the point of normal sanity. You usually make those around you smile ... when you're not creeping them out!

that's all folks..

:D




i am having a bad flu now...guess the Sinus is setting in as well..


and i just shitted whatever i ate yesterday..i dunno if this is a relief or what..


today's programme is gonna be packed..gotta touch up on the Wits project thingy..haiz..i have never really done Wits my whole life, seriously. Ask me anything business, law or management related and i am able to tell you bitz and pieces of it..ask me about Wits and i can spend hours on it like crazy..


i just hate to think about the combination of Wits and Flu..which is why i am kind of still procrasinating since sitting in front of the computer about 2 hours plus ago..shaking my legs, singing to loud Youtube videos and watching the Tyra Show..


which brings me to a new topic now..i hate that show. Period. And i can never understand channel 5's rational of replacing my 'Ellen' show with this Tyra show at the peak 6pm slot..


if you had watched both shows, you would have understood what i am trying to say. I dun need another Tyra to play aunt agony to street people or show sympathy or some other acts. I already have the Opera show for that.


anyway..that's my very own opinion. I love my Ellen show like how i love 'Seventh Heaven'...'Ally Mcbeal'...'CSI'..


they are all very different show altogether..but somehow, i just loved them..


:D


and i have been so craving for salmon spag with creamy sauce..since a long long time ago..


anyone free for that?


oh..btw..gotta go Ikea to get my coffee table..don't know if mum wants to go today..the old one broke like a week plus ago..oh well..that's a very long depressive story..so shall forget about it..


and after days of boredom..there's something nice in planning.. :D ...haha..nothing big la..but interesting..shall post the pics if they do allow cameras..


byeee...




i was so in the mood for poems yesterday that i promptly sat down and wrote one in my state of sleepiness...


in the middle of the night past midnight..


'sometimes i dun quite get it..
was that a hint of something?
or simply 'words of a conversation'?


times i spent pondering and questioning
of no particular question or answer


was there a need for question?
or was there even a question seeking an answer at the first place?


i am like at a small junction of my own life
seeking the bitz and pieces that forms it all up


1 step forward and i am nearer to the unknown
1 step backward and i am back to the familiar
left or right..
phobias and fears continue to haunt


i've never been this careful or cautious with every step i take and every thought that comes by


opportunities are simply like shooting stars
flying past with extreme speeds
was i too slow to catch some?
or am i too afraid to reach out for it?


working for my dreams, be it big or small
is something i have been trying hard to do
since young, i had wanted so much to prove and 'make it work'


i did and now i feel a sudden need to fill up the empty spaces that had been left blank
but somehow, i can't put a name or title to it
not even a simple description


healing a shattered heart is what i've been trying hard to do
i am nothing short of succeding, i hope.
sealing it tight is something i've never had second thoughts about


hesitating, pondering, questioning...
all this are but norm


i take each and every step now with these attitude..
they might seemed strong and stubborn


but beneath all these simple fine acts
lies someone who's been using them to hide the self-denial, phobias and insecurities she still face everyday..'


if you had a chance to bring back 'One Day'..which would you choose?


i pondered about it after reading the book 'For One More Day'...and i simply went blank..


how was i supposed to know which day to turn back to?..it's not like you know instantly where and when things are gonna take a bad turn..


i have not really had a close shave with death..nor had i fee textremely depressive over some life events..though there had been moments where i once hoped and prayed that they do not even exist..


but thinking back, i never really once regretted how those events started or how i eventually stupidly got involved..


it's because of those events that i learnt about life..it was those that made me what i am today..though not perfectly nice or good or anything near wonderful..it made me understand..


and so, since i can't find any answer..how about you thinking about it?


if you had a chance to bring back 'One Day'..which would you choose?




sometimes, we hesitate a lot about life..wished a lot..waited a lot..and think too much.


sometimes, i just feel that i would jolly well drown in my own thoughts..not knowing what they truly are.


i tend to complicate things at times and create walls of denial, defence and pretence. All this supposedly to make things look good, make people feel good and situations good.


but how much do i achieve anway?


i set up a blog to pen down my thoughts in life...good or bad...all of it..so that i could let people see a side of me that they never knew..or that they thought they knew.


but this is kind of failing too. Cause' i seldom do let my negative thoughts in here. Often times, it ends up being channelled to another place.


but then, it ain't that bad an idea too. In that way, everyone is happie. I am happie too. Cause' when i look back on all my past entries, I feel good.


a random thought from some time back..


*i spent time again and again on stupid thoughts that i should never had from the beginning..
i should had never allowed history to repeat itself, so many times.


how foolish am i to think that this is the Difference.
how silly can i get to continuingly fail myself.


i should never had listened to what others have to say, at times.
it complicate matters and disrupt my already straightened thoughts


i should have been more determined.
why on earth did i allow such a foolish mistake to be in place yet again?


time i have spent waiting and guessing.
i should have just shut it all out and leave.


why do i even bother pondering or even hesitating?
it led me to nowhere and it will go to nowhere.


trust me, i know.*





Muscle-Ache!

my bones are cracking and i am having hell of a muscle-ache..


went for training yesterday...ran and ran till i no longer make any sense of how much i had been running.. it's been like near to a year since i last did some real tough training..and now i can't help but feel like an old lady..here pain there pain..even the simplest thing of climbing the stairs makes a whole lot of difference now..


alright..a little exaggeratting here..


haha.. life's pretty good today.. i feel blessed and lucky..


blessed cause' i am still kicking and alive.. and that also includes feelin' good about having muscle-aches..cause' it goes to show that i am still abled...


lucky cause' i managed to get a goody window seat while on the way home today..the weather was cold and good to sleep in the bus..plus, i didn't bang my head onto the window..


there's just a slight difference between being blessed and being lucky.. i can't really put them into words.. but it's just pretty close.. being blessed is like finding joy and happiness and contentment in our daily lives while being lucky is like a having things going your way... whatever it is.. you get the meaning rght?


hee.. btw..i bought Chinese New Year cards today... a total of 18 cards..haha..gonna send them out soon...everybody's good today..sent SMSes out asking for addresses today and all of them replied me promptly..


haha..now that's Lucky.. and Justin even comented that i was so 'wu xim'..haha..it means 'sincere'..


don't know what got onto me but kind of just in the mood for such stuff since xmas..maybe it's the over-flowing emotions and feelings from xmas..or maybe it's just a new me..


hee..will be going Ikea tomorrow...yippie!..one of my fav. places...but no worries..i'll have self-control over money..i hope so...haha..


and i wanna watch the show 'One Last Dance'...'Cha Wu'...staring Francis Ng and many talented others...the advertisement had been going on and on and i am determined to watch it..Francis Ng is just too damn handsome and cool~..



'every piece tells a different story'...


and i read off GV that the whole show was filmed entirely in Singapore..whoa..*proud to be a Singaporean*


anyway..i've finally finished 'The 5 persons you meet in Heaven'..so the next is 'For One More Day'...


finally, i am readin' it..since Grace gave it to me at xmas...there's just this anticipation and excitement in reading the book...even i am finding it weird..





go read it if you guys could..everyone needs an inspirational book once in a while..


p/s: kel..thanks for that sweet sms with warm thots..really appreciated it..i am alright..just that at times, it is just 'human' in everyone to dwell on some negative thoughts..and like everyone else, i can never get enough of sorting out negative stuff in life..but i just wanna let u know that..whatever i go thru in life, i know nothin's that tough..you have been thru so much more than me..and if you are still lookin' forward..i dun see any reason why i shouldn't..

hee..take care..




i watched 'Curse of the Golden Flower' yesterday..


pretty nice though..the costumes..and all the accesorries..kudos to the number of extras and the 'wow' effect from the grand-ness of the show..


surely it took a lot of efforts and money in producing..looking at th costumes and the number of people in it..the locations and the 'palace' were also grand and so 'golden'..


but the story crap was alright though..nothing special..simple story plot with an extra twist at the end..would rate it 3.5/5..


the story's very long la..dun wanna bore u people with a whole chunk of words..so if you guys wanna know...go watch it or meet me and i shall tell it to you..


anyway...i have already changed my blogskin!..finally!!...have been looking for a ew skin since xmas time..but just could not find a good one that suited my mood..


but when i saw this new skin..i=immediately without a second thot..i downloaded it and used it..and i am gettin' smarter k...managed to change and transfer all the info within an hour..haha..


super eh?

:D


love this new skin lots...as you already saw..the main theme about the skin is 'the new life'..which is what i have been harping on the past few days...something that i have set to achieve for 2007..


so, like what is says..treasure every moment..cause' you never know when it's the last..


time really flies...it's like one o'clock liao...need to get my butt to Tampines to get some stuff..but i am kind of gettin' lazy and slepy yet again..so, i shall see first la..


anyways...good dae..




i am kind of weird these days..

and so are the people and things around me..can't help but feel paranoia and weird at times..

it's like i am seeing things in a lot of different ways..and mostly, my super-sensitiveness will set in and i'll be thinking of silly things here and there..

oh well..maybe it's that time of the month again..cranky yet again..

there ain't anything that has made me very upset..and ain't anything that has made me extremely ecstatic..

though there had been a few that made me truly happie..haha, beauty in simplicity..it's amazing how something simple can turn out to be something so touching and sweet to heart..

haha...

things are just going good..

that's all..

it's like what i put on my msn nick..

"as soon as you stop falling out of Life, everything else starts falling right into Place"..

stop destruction and construction will get going..

this sounds a little stupid i know...cause' i have been at this topic on and off..now and then..

but still..

this quote comes truly from my heart..truly what i felt..

after thinking thru much and deciding to start my 2007 Anew and Afresh!..

i feel good. seriously, i dun know why.

it's like climbing out of a black hole kind of thing..or as simple as being in a train and coming out of a tunnel after a long long ride..and seeing the bright sunny sun..

that's how i feel!!..

exageratting ah?

haha..maybe a little.

but yeah, and i must emphasise...

the reasons behind this new found happiness of mine are God..family ...friends and everyone around me..

i don't know how to put it la..

just like seeing the sun after the dark clouds..

or maybe the ability to put down certain things and people and move on with a 'not-so-tragic' life..

i mean, how long can i get stuck with unhappiness and doubts?

2 years have been a long time to realise certain things..there's no doubt that sometimes i still miss the old times..for unknown reasons..but i know it's of no point..

a person must move forward and not backwards..

but it's just in human la..to always dream of the unattainable..and to own the unachievable..

it's been a long time since i felt so sure and happie of myself..

there are things i have failed at..no doubt..8 days into the new year..and some things have gone wrong..or 'hay-wired'..

but still..the good hope and feeling is still around me..just felt strong and good..

haha..

i am pretty confident that i would make a lot of things work and make 2007 better than ever..maybe even a turning point in life...

haha..

*****************

happiness lies in simplicity..

the route to happiness might not necessary be something physical or material..

the route to happiness is about letting go and living good, on your own.





nice flowers...

credits to FarEastFlora..

dun ask me why i ended up there..i just clicked on phylicia's blog and there i went..

nice eh~

flowers can and will always brighten up one's day..






but my fav is still this..

called 'Music to my Soul'..

nice colour combi..



haha..i am always such an idiot for flowers..

i even dreamt of becoming a florist during my sec sch days..but then,practicality and reality set in..

it ain't that easy to survive on 'flowers' business..

esp when singaporean are a bunch of 'not so romantic' people and way too realistic to wanna spend much money on flowers..

anyway..

that's enough flowers for the night..

shall be going to lie and laze on my smelly bed..

Good nitez..

With love,
alicia.

p/s: Reading Mitch Albom's 'The 5 persons you meet in heaven' is indeed inspirational..makes you see and understand things in a different way..i once felt that death was a taboo, something i wished i never had to face so often..but reading this book makes me see death in a different light..some things might not be as tough to face up to anyway..

i never thought i could feel this way..just the way you make me feel..

'Good'.




nice song eh?

it's an old song by Shakira..Underneath your clothes..

listening to it once again just feels good..

ha..

woohoo..

went to rebond my hair today..and snap off a little..hair's now a little thinner though..

but love it though..

hee hee..somemore it's done by my fav. stylist..

he gettin' more handsome liao..

:D


pics of my hair..couldn't really get a proper shot of it cause' i took it myself..






but if you wanna see my hair, haha, meet me then..but then, rebonded hair ain't much diff also..

and guess how much i splurged on my hair?

a whooping S$247/-..

i know..a bit crazy..but girls..wat to do..thank god i have something called bonus..

but it's good la..my previous one lasted for a year..

so if you people want, can try my stylist.. the salon director Eugene Leong at Monsoon Storm at Tampines Mall..

:D




2007 had been a great start..beginning..

to me and everything around me..

ended 2006 and welcomed 2007 in church..did a countdown with grace and her family..

received lots of new year day msgs...

was the first time in my whole entire life to do a countdown in church..and attend mass..

haha..even i find it hard to believe now..

but the last day of 2006 was amazing..ate vegetarian the whole day..not because i wanted to but because there ain't much choices to choose from at my workplace..so decided to go with the flow and ate vegatarian..

and that was my only meal..cause' i was kind of busy here and there that it didn't really occured to me that i was kind of hungry..

but i guess it was good in a way la..ate vegetarian the whole day..then attended mass at church..and ate my first meal in church..blessed food..

muahahaha..

i can feel that 2007 is gonna be good..

plus, it's a Pig year btw..and i am a born in the year of a Pig..

muahaha..



extra reason to be happie~

haha..i was browsing the net for pics on pigs and i came across this..

funny~



haha..givin a pig a pancake?..my first thought would be to pour plenty of honey over it..

yummie yummie~


oh yeah..take a look at this..




haha..grace and jul stayed over after my post xmas dinner..

and we played Scrabble till like 4.30 in the morning..yes..4.30am..even i was amazed at it..

but i was kind of falling asleep thru the game..but then it was time well-spent though..

loved my 2 best friends..



To: Grace and Jul..

How time really flies..we are 11 years into our friendship..i am just so glad that no matter how people and things change..our friendship is still going strong...or should i say, stronger than ever..

i have been most glad and blessed to have both of you as my best friends..thru the good times and the bad..thru the gossips and secrets that only we ourselves know..

we have all grown..from the teeny-boopy days..to the present glowing shining pretty girlies..

we have grown to be more mature..

but one thing never change whenever we are together..the playfulness and naughtiness in us..

throughout these 10 over years..we have seen how friends disappeared..left..vanished..quarelled..fought..but i am glad we have always stayed close..

no matter how east and north we stay from each other..i am truly glad to say that friendship has no distance..

i truly treasure the both of you and the fun, laughter and understanding you brought to me..

some things i do not have to say much and you girls know it..be it the bad or happie times..

Happy 11th Friendship Anniversary..

who would have though we would have made it these far huh..

:D

i am very sure we would still make it years down the road..till we grow old and become 'The Golden Girls'..(an old comedy la~)

haha..






Love you both..
aLicia..