i went to work on Saturday and it was in the early hours of 6am that i reported..we had a short meeting before setting off for our work and there was this funny comment made by one of my colleagues that only a few persons caught it..

he was saying '...hope they won't be doing it cause' there's only a thin line between sanity and insanity..'

it was kind of funny though..in the midst of the briefing and in the early morning..but only me and a few were smiling over it..

was it because the guys in the room were sleepy?..or not really into the briefing?..or simply unable to catch that wacky joke in the early hours?..

oh well..i kind of thought it to be funny though..

the weekend has been busy..mr cheng is working OT on his off days..but we've decided to book our HK tics this coming week so that it's a burden off the mind..

hee...we've planned some stuff here and there and the special day is coming in a month and a half..

:D

can't wait to pack my luggage and fly~..

woohoo..alright..gotta go..there's some good shows on TV..

bye..




there's such a thin line between life and death.

sometimes you spend so much time trying to save people and then you would realise the next moment that you can't save all. i accept that fact, in fact, i have been living well with it. Life and Death forms part and parcel of life. But i kind of hate it when i get to hear about people dying, people already dead and worst still, people who are gone in split seconds just in front of me.

i have so much fear and phobias inside me that i can't really voice out. it's confidential, it's not supposed to be said, it's too sensitive to talk about.

but what am i to do and how am i supposed to deal with the fact that i am now developing a fear for nites out on the roads and the corridors?

people can always say that they understand but how do they when they have not been to where i was and stood so near to fear but yet still putting up a brave front cause' you are not supposed to fear or even be afraid. I have seen myself jumped at the softest footstep and heard my very own heart skip a few too many beats.

i tried to cry it out but it does not work cause' the tears are refusing to drop.

recently i've been letting myself soak into the fantasy of HK Dramas cause' they are 'not that real'. i like the fact that these dramas are showing things and stuff that will least likely to happen in Life.

i like that. Though i am a realistic person and have a tendacy not to fall for unrealistic stuff, i think we all need to live in a unreal world once in a while.

i am almost done with my fears, facing up to it and confronting it bit by bit, though i still kind of imagine things once in a blue moon. Life will never be the same again.

But then, what does not kill you, makes you stronger.




Bags..

one of the loves of my life and the taker of my money...

(but they are nice!..)

what do you think of this bag?...have been tempted to get one for myself..but the pricing is pretty steep..have got a lobang for a lower price..but the prob is 'the lower price' is still pretty high..

it's a Ralph Lauren in canvas material and i've got till the 20th of this month to decide whether to buy a not..

here's a few more that caught my eye too..


Jimmy Choo..





Fendi Spy Bag..

love the one in dark brown and white...

i am supposed to be saving money for my HK trip but i think i am spending still very much the same though..

just blew 50 bucks on a dress at Zara yesterday...i confessed to mr. cheng my sin just hours ago and he said it was okie cause i'll need retail therapy once in a while..

but these retail therapy are bringing me further and further away from Mickey and Minnie (i mean Disneyland in HK la!)..

guess i'll have to forgo the bags at the moment...i know i'll regret it sometime down the road..but i have no choices..everything is expensive in Singapore..

arrrgghhh..why aren't i rich??!!




while i was reading 'Chicken Soup for the Couple's Soul' some time back, i remembered reading a particular story titled 'Shmily'..

the story was about how the author's grandparents would leave notes with writings of 'Shmily' around the house for the other to find. it was a simple 2 page story.

the grandparents continued this self-created tradition till the very day one of them passed on. Then, while at the funeral, the author could not contain her curiosity and finally asked her grandfather what is the secret code behind the self-created word 'Shmily'.

The word 'Shmily' actually stands for 'See How Much I Love You'. And her grandparents have left tonnes of such notes for the other party to find so that they could let the other know how much they are loved.

Recently, Mr. Cheng came up with a secret code and SMS-ed me just last week. When i read it, i immediately knew what it meant. However, it did not occur to me as any special or unique message until recently when i thought of the 'Shmily' story.

I doubt anyone else would understand our secret code except for the both of us. Maybe it's chemistry or just some link we share as a couple.

Just over the weekend, we had some unhappy stuff going on, or rather, I was unhappy at him for some reasons. I am still rather mad though not directly at him.

Just yesterday, I finished work at about ten plus in the night and was rushing home as a heavy downpour seems to be coming. He messaged me on whether I needed him to send me home. When I told him 'no need' out of frustration, he replied that he understood.

That made me rather pissed because I simply don't understand what he understood. At that point of time, I doubt he even knew what I was angry at though he knew I was mad.

We were SMS-ing each other and I was growing increasingly angry till he sent me this message 'Do you have a umbrella? It is going to rain'.

When I read it, I was in such a confused state of mind that I don't know if I should be touched or sad or angry.

And at some point of time, I felt like I was so petty.

It was a simple short message that was sweet and caring. And now though I am still kind of mad at the matter, I can't bring myself to be angry or frustrated at him. I know I mean a lot to him. He meant no lesser to me either.

I had a talk with him last night and I hope he understands where I am coming from. I know it is tough for him as well. He told me that he would find a good solution. I am keeping my fingers crossed because he had failed to fifill his previous promise. I doubt he even remember what it was.

Anyway, He still means a lot to me and I still love him lots. And each time I awake and see teddy, it reminds me of him so much that my anger kind of vanished.

Sometimes, I do hate myself for being such a fickle person.

baby..(IINI)




i am happie~..

haha..i think 'happie' is an understatement of my feelings now..with each word i type here..i am gettin' increasingly excited..

remembered i once mentioned something about mr. cheng bringing me to HK?..haha..that dream is coming true~...i asked him about it and we're now in the planning stage...the date is decided..the leave is almost cleared..just a last confirmation..and last but not least, the tickets to be confirmed..and we shall Fly~...

haha..to an Asian country where shoppng and eating takes priority...i can't wait to shop shop and shop...and what's more, disneyland is in the planning too...woohoo...mickey and minnie..wait for me!!

:D

and i found out a secret of mr cheng's yesterday through his blur-sotong friend cum colleague..md noor..haha..he actually accidentally blurted it out...and i managed to catch the hint so fast that me and mr. cheng just ended up lauging it out..

haha..good attempt dear...now i shall pretend not to know a thing~..

haha..

and i feel energised today...just woke up from a 17hr sleep from last nite..when i woke up today..i was thinking if it was my off day or night shift today..

anyway...i am gonna be off soon..meeting boonie for dinner..and that's lots of catching up to do..plus the laundry's waiting to be done..arrgh...so much for sleeping~..

alrite..bye...




i've found a great recipe to cook up some fingerfood and i can't wait to try it out...it's one that i chanced upon while at the dentist's some time back..it's for mr. cheng cause' it has his favourite meat, beef.

but i ain't gonna reveal more. cause' i don't want him knowing it..haha..i bet his eyes would open big upon seeing this entry cause' he knows i don't really have a flair for cooking. it's just passable, if standards aren't that high.

gosh..how i admire people who can whip up dishes, yummy ones, in an hour or so. how i wish i am like that too. i used to hate cooking, cause' i know i ain't good at it. so, whenever the cooking issue comes in, i would raise my hands in a lightning speed and volunteer for the washing instead.

but, i've since decided it's time i learn some ropes on cooking.

and so, mr cheng, this post is kind of a little clue for our next monthsary.




a great morning..

one of the best ways to welcome a great morning is to awake looking at your beloved hugging tightly onto your teddy bear and you and sleeping like the morning stretches forever..

and waking up at 1pm to be munching onto 4 pratas, beehoon goreng, soup kambing and mutton soup..

:D