alicia's little thot at 9:05 PM
maybe it's the dark blue sky..
or the cold strong wind..
the usual silence tonight seems so familiar yet different..
familiar that this has been the way since a year ago..
different in that ever-increasing distance between us..
some things never fade away with time..
some people never get forgotten over time..
i have wrote so many letters and notes..
over this long time..
that i don't know where exactly to start counting..
through all this while..
hope never once diminished..
all the notes and letters with a sender but no receiver..
all kept promptly but with no where to send them to..
no one had ever asked why or questioned how..
those nice smiles behind a tearful heart..
those happy moments that only i need to know what i am hiding..
i don't really understand myself these days..
so much that i choose to simply live with it..
i tried being with someone when i realised that i could no longer try the same..
i hurt the very one who tried to love me
just because i was trying to love the one who hurt me..
some people said it's unnecessary self-inflicted hurt..
while some simply brush it off as additional burden by choice..
but how much do you people know?
how much have you ever wondered?
how much have i not tell?
a lot, plenty.
to build a rainbow, you need two persons.
i found someone a long time ago but i wasn't putting in the colours he wanted..
the rainbow then disappear..
so did he..
recently, i wanted to try to build another rainbow..
and i found out that the other person was putting in all the colours that i have never seen before..
it was beautiful but..
that rainbow was not the one i wanted..
it looked beautiful..
but it just lacked the radiance..
so many beautiful things in the world..
i can buy...i can make..i can create..
but i can never see that first rainbow ever again..
and it hurts.
