maybe it's the dark blue sky..

or the cold strong wind..

the usual silence tonight seems so familiar yet different..

familiar that this has been the way since a year ago..

different in that ever-increasing distance between us..

some things never fade away with time..

some people never get forgotten over time..

i have wrote so many letters and notes..

over this long time..

that i don't know where exactly to start counting..

through all this while..

hope never once diminished..

all the notes and letters with a sender but no receiver..

all kept promptly but with no where to send them to..

no one had ever asked why or questioned how..

those nice smiles behind a tearful heart..

those happy moments that only i need to know what i am hiding..

i don't really understand myself these days..

so much that i choose to simply live with it..

i tried being with someone when i realised that i could no longer try the same..

i hurt the very one who tried to love me

just because i was trying to love the one who hurt me..

some people said it's unnecessary self-inflicted hurt..

while some simply brush it off as additional burden by choice..

but how much do you people know?

how much have you ever wondered?

how much have i not tell?

a lot, plenty.

to build a rainbow, you need two persons.

i found someone a long time ago but i wasn't putting in the colours he wanted..

the rainbow then disappear..

so did he..

recently, i wanted to try to build another rainbow..

and i found out that the other person was putting in all the colours that i have never seen before..

it was beautiful but..

that rainbow was not the one i wanted..

it looked beautiful..

but it just lacked the radiance..

so many beautiful things in the world..

i can buy...i can make..i can create..

but i can never see that first rainbow ever again..

and it hurts.




today's been a real tiring day...

and a very eventful one indeed..

was in a mini parade today when one of my team mate fainted..

poor guy..

guess it's the stuffy-ness and him not having a proper dinner and rest the night before..

he was standing straight when he just fall face down to the ground..

it's like a fall from a 90 degrees to 180 degrees..

the fall was so loud that people can hear it from another end..

was conveyed to hospital and warded...chipped off 3 teeth and the doc is keeping him for observation...for some concussion thingy..as he hit his forehead..

such a shock though..

i mean i was kind of expecting that someone might faint or something..

but not anything to that extent..

i was in fact shocked for awhile..

and when i called his gf..

she just sounded like she had cried..

hmmm..

poor thing..

hope all's well and good..

*you'll recover well,bro...

and after the parade..went for my in-service classes..

was supposed to end at 4pm..

but it ended way after 4pm..

was near to 6pm when everything was settled..

therafter...went to a dialogue session held by my management people..

and therafter..stayed back to do my assignment cause the deadline's drawing near..

in short..

i finished at about 7.30pm..

was in no mood to take a bus..so just raised my hand and got onto a cab..15mins and phew..i was home..

home sweet home..

watched a little of Singapore Idol..

not bad..

but i just kind of think that this particular batch is a whole lot of weirdos..

but i am kind of placing my bets on nurul..

think she's alright..

has the making of the idol..

the voice is important..

but no point having a good voice when you do not have the cutting of a Star*..

i mean it's like a packaging thingy..

like a jar of Kaya..

so many different brands..

ultimately they are all Kaya but..

you would still choose a particular brand over another..

maybe it's the overall package and cleanliness..

i mean..who would want to have a jar of Kaya that has particles of dust in it and not properly covered?

talking about Kaya...

i kind of miss the Nutella Chocolate Spread..

it's so damn yummy..

especially the special one with vanilla...

whew...

maybe next time when i step into a supermarket..

haha..you will be mine.. slurp~



and back to my life story..

talked about life, friends, ex, career yesterday...

frankly speaking..i have nothing much to comment on it now..

since i often post whatever comes to mind and nothing in particular today..

my brains are kind of squezzed and tired..

but being ain't such a bad idea too..

makes me know that i can be so much more than i think i am..

recently..

a lot of plans have been coming by and i am interested in this..interested in that..

but seriously speaking..i don't know if all will turn out good..

just wanted to be nearer to my dreams..

i hope i do get there someday..

:)






the weather is so damn hot...

i feel so sticky all over...

but anyway...

i had a chat with yanmei today..

we planned some stuff to do..

but it's till in the planning stage..

so can't reveal much..

talking about it..

the idea actually came to my mind while i was in the MRT..

wasn't much a bad idea..

but just that i need some good time and planning and money of course..

for the time being..

let's just call it Project.

hee...

and some bitchy news for today..

i actually became good friends with one of my ex's ex-galfriend..

confusing?

nope..

to put it simple..

we used to be with the same guy...

but he's long gone..

gone as in away la..

he ain't dead..

and back to this gal..

we just kind of hit it off when we started talking months ago...

before that..

we were actually strangers with a thingy 'you're my ex's ex gf'..

but since we became friends..

haha..

didn't even talk about my ex at all..

guess it's a silent mutual understanding..

we just don't wish to talk about the past..

anyway..

she's nice..

loves most of the things i love..

and as cheerful and easy-going..

haha..

and who would have thought that we had such a 'connection'?

and i can't imagine the look on my ex's face if he finds out..

the world is just so small at times..

for example..

my best friend Grace actually has a best friend who's my polymate..

and Grace's cousin was once my another best friend's bf..but too bad..they broke off..

and one of my squadmate was my ex's ex gf's cousin..

and a few more that i can't remember..

the world's damn small..

we all live in it but yet..

there's just so much difficulty in finding that particular one that suits you and vice versa..

i am not saying it in a sense that the other person has to fit you like a key to a lock..

but it's just that people and things are often so twisted that things are so complicated..

it's like..

you like someone and he likes another person..

someone likes you and you do not like him back..

everyone likes other person and you do not..

everyone seems to be attached and you are not..

and when you are..

people are all breaking up..

this and that..

here and there..

so complicated..

even when i tell people that i am placing my career first before everything..

people always ask me..

'why?'...'want me to intro guys anot?'...'high expections ah you?'..

and then after beating round the stupid bush..

they would try to ask things like...'what happened to that guy you were with?'..'how come no more?'..

wah piang eh~

like being single at 23 is not common..

and people would always say..

women ultimately will get married one day...why work too hard?..relax la...women too hardworking no good..later stronger than your husband..

haiyoh..

this kind of thinking..

though it's a good thing being blissfully married and or even having someone by side..

it's just ain't on my mind for the time being..

i think i am at a good age to start enjoying life and being free to do whatever shitty stuff i have in mind..

no restrictions and stuff..

in fact...whenever i was in a relationship..

i would always spend time alone..be it shopping or playing..

no matter where and when..

one has to have time on their own..

to rejuvenise..relax and reflect..

in fact..i love time alone..

it's like being in your own time space..

no restrictions or plans or anything..

if like...then go ahead..

no questions or anything..

hmm...kind of late though..

i am having in-service class tomorrow..

so i am going off..

actually i came to blog as i was waiting for a 16mb file to be transferred to me in MSN but..

just as we were reaching the 1mb mark..

my friend got d/c..

don't know now whether to laugh or cry or sleep or worry..

this assignment has a deadline that i've gotta stick to..

or rather..we've got to stick to..

well..try again..

maybe can maybe not..

maybe i'll take a nap..

then when i wake up..it might be transferred already..

alright..nitezz people..

we shall continue the talk on singlehood and love and work and ex's another day...




got a lot of missed calls these days..

needless to say..

i did not return any of it..

though there were some voice messages left behind..

i did not bother to..

as usual..

i don't retrieve any voice messages unless i am in a freaking good and 'nothing better to do' mood..

the same theory..

'if it's urgent..he or she could message me'..

simple as that..

i hate returning calls..

especially to home numbers..

since it could be another person picking it up and telling me that no one called..

and i refuse to answer calls from handphone numbers that i do not know of..

the possibility of it being agents and some promotion people is rather high..

so i would always choose not to answer..

in fact..

the possibility of people calling my handphone for help is quite high but then..

if they needed urgent help..

the number they should call is triple 9 and not alicia's handphone..

so i figure that it ain't that important for me to return missed calls..

unless it's work related..

and if it is..

my work people would usually message me if there is really a need and they can't get me..

and talking about phones..

i am going crazy about buying the gold edition Motorola V3..

it just caught my attention so much that i am comtemplating of sellin' my S88 to get it..

i know clearly it's a 'want' and not a 'need' but still..

i mean..take a look at it..

Look..


look closer..



last heard that the price is about S$600 plus..

and it has only 1000 limited stock worldwide and only selling at D&G stores..

MOTOROLA RAZR V3i GOLD...

maybe i should start buying 4d again..

who knows maybe i would strike First Prize and .....

hahaha..

fat hope~

but then..it ain't such a bad idea afterall..

got try better than no try..









now that i am typing this entry out..

realised that i did not give credits for my handphone for the Bangkok trips that i uploaded..

*thanks..my beloved S88 BenQ..

and after sleeping continously for like 15 hours..after my night shift..

i feel energised and good..

this is the sleep that i have been wanting..

a good relaxing sleep..

and next down the list is a good massage and spa and hoiliday and tours and money and a lot alot..

so many things that i want..

but thank god..

tomorrow's payday..

meaning that my pocket's gonna be filled up again..

and i'll be having this reward thingy of S$250/-...as my division did well last financial year..

and also..S$100/- for the Silver in IPPT..

finally..i am getting a little rich again..

and now that my stomach's rumbling..

i feel like having this..



McDonald's..

the phone is kind of near me..and Delivery is good too..

but..

nvm..i'll think about it..

alright..

the batt's kind of runnig low..

gotta be gone..

i'll be back..

soon.

while at the lift at MBK...chanced upon this poster at the lift entrance..this is EXACTLY what is on my mind all this while in Bangkok..


and yes..i love myself..haha..very much indeed..

alright...

goodbye Bangkok.

.

i am seriously suffering from Post Bangkok Syndrome.Help Me.

here are the bangkok pics..

just some of it..cause' i can't seem to find the cable to my camera..

shitz...

i think it's at my workplace though..i hope it REALLY is..

pics of my air ticket and the aeroplaneeee..






when there with one bag..weighing 5kg...


when i came back..it was weighing near to 20kg...


total bags i bought..from big to small..sporty to girly..coloured to plain..bangkok brand to 'branded' ones..haha...


alot of t-shirts..blouses..skirts..shorts..footwear...
i don't know when i can finish wearing them...
all that was on my head was 'buy buy buy'..




the sequined slippers are only S$3 plus only..after 15mins of 'lower la..lower a bit'...









in fact...for each of these pieces..none of it exceeds S$8/-...




haha..

i am crazy over this song at the moment..

it's called..'ni na me ai ta'..

by Li sheng jie and Lin long xuan..

simply nice~..

thought the lyrics was only ok..but the music was nice...

hee...

just loaded it into my mp3..and it's on the playlist everytime!

hee..

talking about my mp3..

bought a third party charger but was unable to charge it..

maybe it's due to some Creative software thingy..

mind you but it costs S$19.90..

so i guess i've got to sell it away..

never used and it's in very good and NEW condition..

forgot the brand..

maybe i'll upload the pic tomorrow..

i'll be selling it for S$14/-..

interested buyers..

call me or email me..

extremecoffeeaddict@yahoo.com.sg

if you're really nice and my good friend..

i might just consider lowering the price..

cause' i just wanted to sell it off fast..

hmm...

gotta get some sleep..

btw..

mum's out of town to Genting with her pals..

really knows how to enjoy life ah..

and even though we are at different places..

The Singapore Newspapers are still very important to her..

even purposedly message me to REMEMBER to BUY newspapers...

Newspapers Addict.




hey people...

if you're free..i believe you will be..since you are browsing thru my blog..

go to this link..

my sec sch time friend just started making these nice beaded jewellery for wear..

all are hand-made and at affordable and reasonable prices too..

it's pretty and definately worth a peep...

here are some of the pics of the jewellery..









here's the link..

http://jeannielim.blogspot.com/

and now..on a gossipy note..

i just read one of my ex's blog..

shall not reveal the blog address..

but he is damn #@$@#%$#%..

seriously speaking..

in his blog he talks about this new gal that he had knew and is currently 'going after'..

he talks about how so called 'important' she is to him..

how he would change for her..

and last but not least..

about how he would LOVE HER SO MUCH IF SHE SAYS YES TO BEING HIS GF..

and about how he had FALLEN BADLY IN LOVE BEFORE WITH OTHER GALS...BUT STILL HE IS WILLING TO RISK IT ALL FOR HER...

pui!!..

as far as i know..

that fucker is simply in pure English..

FUCKER.

and i mean it..

i am not mentioning any names here but he's a god damn PLAYBOY..

everytime he likes someone..

he would say it like the gal is his everything and the only gal he has been waiting for and all those stupid crappy stuff that gals would fall for..

but i can tell you..

he ain't any of that..

and for the gal whom he is currently into..

i really pray hard for you..

i seriously don't think this guy knows what is Love.

as far as i am concern..

and maybe other gals as well..

he ain't a good character..

even my mum hated him at first sight..

and i mean FIRST SIGHT..

well...i know..

now the question would be back to me again..

why on earth did i ended up with him for some time?

maybe it's Stupid Fate or simply Foolish.

spare me for i have broken up with him for ages..

*yes..i realised it after the break!

and i can't help but wonder now..

how long can this new gal keep him going?

in my view..

he was just simply a guy trying his luck at gals..

the more difficult it is..

the more he wishes to get her..

and when he does..

end of Story.

Yup, as simple as that.

Problem with this guy is..

he simply does not see Love as something to work on and something to hold on to.

To him, it's simply a case of 'if we can get along well and good, we are good. if not, then i'll look for another'...

to him..love is never something long term..more like a short term asset..

once used..it starts to depreciate and one day..it's just gone..not even worth any scrap value..

when i broke off with him..it took him 2 months plus to find another gal..

and when he was with that gal..

he says things like..'SHE IS THE ONE THAT I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR'

'THE ONLY ONE'..

pui pui and more PUI!!!...

he was with that gal like 2 or 3 months..

and 2 months later..he's going after one AGAIN!

and now i can't help but think of how silly i was to even be with him then..

i certainly don't deserve this kind of ASS..

no..

i mean ASS HOLE!