mum went out..

and baby's out too..

and i am all alone at home..

haha..which ain't a bad idea..cause' i am getting all of my private time and space today..just a little thingy..i've gotta do my project..but..i am gonna start after 2pm..

cause' i just woke up awhile ago and had a super duper heavy breakfast..porridge with dishes and fried tapioca and fried dough sticks..woohoo..i am bursting..haha

baby was sweet yesterday..while i was at work and starving cause' everyone else was busy at work..

he turned up right at the door, bringing along my dinner, drinks and flu medicine..very touching indeed..i was just complaining to him that the flu was with me..and he turned up within an hour with everything after his work..

but what's most sweet is that he actually bought my favourite dishes for dinner..sweet and sour fish and bittergourd..

hahaha..

and i actually told him straight in the face that i feel damn loved and blessed..i am indeed.

alright..i shall be back later..gotta do my project..

byee..have a nice day~




'our monthsary'...










end of the cakes..in 5 mins?..haha..they are nice... *thumbs up!





took this from mr cheng's quotes from somewhere..

'Love did not blind me cos I am seeing her very clearly and had grabbed her from the rest of the world.'

very sweet indeed.

some people asked me why i ended up with mr cheng..they seemed rather skeptical of the relationship, or rather of how 2 very different people can end up together.

well..to these people out there..this is one of the reasons.









glittery diamonds..**







aren't you tempted to get it?..

i am... :P ..

but then again..maybe not..i am trying hard to save $$..

nice invention though..especially for women..for those who are interested..tag me..i actually saw this off a spree..so i can give you the link..costs between 20 plus to 30 plus..the plug kind has 3 different sizings for it..S, M and L..will be included in the package..

and some updates on my weekend..

went on a shopping spree last friday with grace..she took half a day off and off we went to Vivocity..

as i look through the new clothes today..i can't help but feel guilty..in a short span of 8 hours on fri..i bought 3 tops from Niichi..a tube top from Forever21(..but this is seriously worth it..it's the same material as the one i got from Mango..but at a cheaper price!!)..a pair of shorts..undergarments..

these are the ones i can remember..

and over the weekend..i met mr. cheng and bought a new pair of shorts from Bossini..for S$23/-..but it was nice..fits on to my butt nicely..hahaha..

talking about the weekend that just went past..me and mr. cheng celebrated 1 of our 'monthssary'..

it was nothing fancy or big..it was in fact a simple affair with 3 small cakes i got from Bakerzin..

the cakes were nice..we ate them together in the morning...

i love cakes..they are simply a nice touch-up for a simple evening..and a special day..

like an icing on a cake..it's simply a nice way to kick-start or end off a day..

and my favourite cake would be the chocolate cake from Temptation..located along Katong..

the chocolate cake is simple pure and chocolately~..makes you wanna have a second piece after you're done with the first..

and the taste just lingers in the mouth and brains for a long long time..

too bad there ain't any pics..

but if i do order one from there..i'll keep u guys informed.. :P




i passed my IPPT!!

ain't that something to be happie about??...

hahaha...i've gotten a Silver..which means 100bucks into my pocket in 2 months time!..

hahaha...and no more additional training.. :D

which means..i've more personnal time to myself..

good~

p/s: phylicia..read your blog..but was unable to leave any comments..nevertheless, i hope everything's better now..have a gd rest and do take good care..love you..

p/s: jul..i know studies are tough..but it's definately a passing phrase of life..no pain no gain..i might not fully understand cause' i ain't a uni student..but i've been thru tough studying+working life..i know how stressful life can get..just take gd care..love you..

p/s: grace..the outing was fun and great..just sad that we were too poor to shop more~..haha..lookin' forward to seeing u again!..i miss you bestie.. :D

p/s: to everyone out there..take gd care..and be good~..haha..


**i'll be back tml..






this is so yummie..i bought it from the '7-11' store downstairs from my house..

it's actually roasted peanuts but in CORN flavour..veri nice~...and the best part is that it's only S$1.30..haha..go try it people..*thumbs up!

anyway..i just wanted to blog about some thoughts today..

just a few moments ago..i was reading from 2 very dfferent blogs..

both are females..one's married while the other had just ended her 3 year relationship with someone whom everyone, even herself, said was perfect..

it just made me think all the more about the ever hot topic..marriage and relationships..

one is happily sharing her life with someone she is married to while the other is simply happy that the relationship ended..

one's happiness is derived from sharing her life with someone while the other's happiness is derived from a seperation..

and that leaves me with rather ironic and contradicting views and thoughts..

i was once happy to leave a relationship too..and some time after i left, in times when i am down or when the relationships i had after him failed, i would always question myself if that was what i wanted?..to go through hurt and tears because i was too safe and happy?

that damn thought have stuck with me each and every single time i failed in a relationship after Lawrence..i would always wonder what life would be if i am still with him..happily married?..or still suppressing myself and my freedom to pursue many things in life?

and each and every time that i reach that particular question..i would be so sure that the answer is the latter..

though i miss the good times i have with him, he's just not what i needed or wanted..and to think that i took 6 damn years to find out. maybe it's just stubborness..you know, everyone loves to be determined to make things work..and when it does not, you would procrasinate to let it end..cause' it simply means failure.

whatever it is, i am no longer on the dark side of the fence. such thoughts are detrimental to the mental health. i do feel guilty for leaving him. damn some people out there, but i ain't a cold blooded animal..i am just being honest to myself and him..and the decision was so called affirmed by myself to be the right choice when i didn't even shed a tear after telling him that it's best we remain best as friends.

that was in fact one of the happiest times i had in those 6 years with him. i know, saying such things here seemed rather unfair to him. cause' like what some friends told me, he actually provided me with a lot and gave in a lot during our time together. yes he was good. i mean, where could you find a guy who would willingly pay your bills and give you pocket money. and in case your thoughts are wondering far..i ain't a kept woman, stupid!!..

back to the topic, yes he was good. but that was the picture i painted...cause' i wanted everyone to see the good and perfect side of it. what you guys didn't see was the ugly and down side. at times, he just ain't courageous to stand up for many things i needed and required.

and one of the worst matter was that we had conflicting views on many things including the future. when i was with him, the future just seemed blur and so unsure.

i am an insecured gal at times. and i definately hate uncertainty and ambiguity at times.

i know it is stupid to start pouring out the past now, especially in this blog.

well..i am just in the mood to type such stuff.

i do not mean to lower him or our past relationship. but i just wanted to say this whole chunk of thoughts that i have been supressing within.

there had been a friend who once told me that i would not understand what he is going thru' cause' he was at the verge of getting married to his 2 year-relationship gf when she suddenly left him for a 3rd party..

after i listened to his whole shit, i actually told me straight in the face that i truly understand cause' i had a 6 year relationship with someone whom i thought i would spend my life with.

that friend shut up immediately and that topic was never brought up.

i understand, i know..all the process, all the thoughts..

some people asked me on advise but sorry i ain't a good one..i've been through bad relationships and i dun think i can give very good advice..i mean, i have failed in a lot of relationships not knowing what and how i, or rather, how we went wrong.

i've always thought i wasn't good enough..not perfect enough..and started a whole big cycle of changing myself...but after 4 damn idiots, i finally realised that the problem does not lie in me. maybe it was simply a case of differences.

relationships are a weird lot..cause' it's something to do with emotions..and emotions are such stuff that you do not have any control over..

they seemed to have a senseless mind on their own..

whatever it is, do whatever it is that makes you happy. it is when you set yourself free that you'll be fair to others and yourself..

trust me on this, cause i once did.

i know all these thoughts are damn heavy.

well..i do feel a whole lot better now.




i ended my night shift about 4 hours ago..and i just came back from my dentist's place..

my teeth hurts a BIG lot now..Dr. Lee placed the retainers at the inside of my lower set of teeth..

i do not really know it's for what purpose..but the GOOD NEWS is that i am gonna be off braces in 2 months time..

i can't believed that time passed so soon that it's been 2 years since he placed the braces in..

well..good news aside..it's kind of irriatating and annoying to be in pain and nothing eases it..

i did consider Panadols but eventually dismissed it off as unnecessary..

i think it's still bearable..i hope.

i kind of feel like meeting baby today..after he finishes work..

but i guess not..

i think there should still be some personal space left in between..

last saw him on saturday nite..and we only chatted for like 5 minutes..he was with his friend while i was gonna go sing song with Fendrick and his friend, Adeline..

and gosh..Cineleisure was packed like crazy on saturday..all the young poppy people..

but we managed to get a room and sang from 11 plus till 5 in the morning..it does not sound somewhat amazing or what..but i actually went after my morning shift..so that adds up to about 20 hrs awake, without gettin' any sleep..

no worries, i ain't crazy..just happie to meet an old time friend..

but somehow, i just feel distanced from everyone in poly..was it me being busy or am i simply too sensitive?..

i don't know..but i'll rather not know..

some things, you'll rather not know the truth.

anyway..i just read my tag and the silly 'teeth-pain' just eased a big lot..short, sweet and simple tag..hmm..just what i need instead of Panadols..

when i first knew Mr. Cheng..i never knew he could be so somewhat romantic and sweet to a certain extent..to me, he was a good guy..someone who's definately more down-to-earth than my previous 'not-worthy-to-mention' and 'in' kind of guys..

somehow, it never did dwell on me that we would have better and happier times times than i somewhat predicted..

he had surprised me with lots of stuff and shared a whole lot of secret codes and silly laughter with me..and all these small little things just seemed to strengthen our decision to be together months ago.. :D

and it just seemed like we have been together longer than we really do..

and anyway..i am glad that my savings have advanced to a new level..hahaha..i could never have been happier..finally, at the age of 23 going to 24..i am saving up to a level i never reached before..haha..

this is indeed a good accomplishment for a shopaholic like me..

i hope it lasts though..it better do..but i shall not reveal the amount.it's not a big deal or any 5 damn digits..but rather, the ability to be this disciplined to reach the particular amount..

i am gonna work hard towards my target.. :D

and i was browsing thru' PostSecrets when i saw this pic..

haha..i decided to post it up cause' i just went to my dentist..

but hell, don't think wrongly..my dentist's a super goody guy...and i love his assistant too..chatty and simply funny~..





*btw, i think it's that ending line..'open wide' that made it all funny~

:D

alright...i am gonna get myself to bed or something..i have nothing much to blog for today..the above-mentoned thoughts just simply came to me today..

all so smoothly..

well..good day people..

p/s: i am taking my annual IPPT tml..wish me luck~ :D ..frankly speaking, i am damn freaking nervous..i have to PASS!!..




once...

i would give up my everything to be with you..
but would you give up anything to be with me?

it took a close friend's encounter to make me see things in a much clearer picture..
i actually could look at the same situation and say to myself..'that was exactly the same!'..

it's right when people say that you see things differently when you're an external party..
just like how the view at the ground level would differ from a view up above..

you look at things differently and you feel different.

i am indeed sorry for what he's going thru'
and sometimes, i can't help but wonder if his encounter did have a purpose.
that is, to answer the question that i never once had courage to face up to.

maybe.

and the title for this post, 'Once', just seems so appropriate now to describe how i once felt.
lost, hurt, torn apart, down and gone.

but i made a good detour from there..
it's now 2 years and counting..
but i never once regretted my feelings.
cause' it made me grew, it made me cried, it made me realise how much more worthy i was when i am not with you.

most of all, it made me took on a whole new meaning of 'commitment'.
though i still am reserved about the word, i am no longer overwhelmed by it.




pictures of BKK trip..i am kind of in the mood of uploading them now..haha..just some random ones..





Dear God..

suddenly, i just felt lucky and blessed..

for being alive..

for being tall (but freak, not slim at all..)

for having my parents..though i hate them a little too much at times..(oh well..that phrase of life..)

for living in a not-so-big house..(haha, lesser to clean when it's spring cleaning time)

for being a Catholic..(this is my favourite of all..)

for being healthy..

for having a job..(though i tend to hate it at times cause' it takes away my private time and stresses me out like crazy..)

for having a hp by side day and nite..(i am sure all of you will agree with this..i'll be LOST without it..)

for having a bursting wardrobe filled with clothes, bags and shoes..(i love this a lot too!)

for my 2 BFF..grace and jul..(i love how we can always be our gluttony and bitchy self..)

for my poly diploma..(it is one of my greatest accomplishments..cause' i had a lot of stuff going on at that time..)

for my lappie..my camera..my crocs shoes..haha, yup, i bought it..the black one!!..haha.. :D

and for Mr. Cheng too..

all of the above are not in sequence of importance..better say this one line..else everyone would come killing me..

haha..

suddenly, i am thinking about happiness..

happiness is what you make out of it..no one dictates the shape or form of happiness..it is just a feeling you brought upon yourself,it ain't dependant on other people..

make yourself happie..that's important..you only have one life..don't waste it on negative thoughts..

since the beginning of this year 2007..i made 3 new year resolutions..



one of it was to be happie every single day of my life cause' i don't wanna die with regrets or anger or anything negative..



it sounds simple..but it ain't easy..



there have been times where i kept on questioning myself as to where i was heading in life..be it in work or personal..

i have had moments where i doubted myself and my ability..

there have also been incidents where i just hid behind everyone and everything and let something pass..

and in all those times, though i felt down and sad..i would still make myself smile..cause' i am afraid that some particular moment might be my last..and i was also afaid that it might be somebody's last..

my main aim was to live good everyday..

and i am glad i made that particular resolution..

life couldn't have got better..



i wouldn't dare say that i have everything in life or that my life is perfect..

but i would dare say that i have everything i need..life couldn't get any better..



though i might be lacking a little here and there materially..everything else is fine..



i am blessed with a lot of good things and people in life..which was what i prayed for too..for God to give me what i need...what i want ain't that important anyway..cause' what i want might not be what is good..



and for once in my life..i can actually see a clearer picture of my own life in the future..



and i am happie for that.



:D



alright..i have nothin' much to blog liao..



byeee...





in case you forgot me..haha