there's such a thin line between life and death.

sometimes you spend so much time trying to save people and then you would realise the next moment that you can't save all. i accept that fact, in fact, i have been living well with it. Life and Death forms part and parcel of life. But i kind of hate it when i get to hear about people dying, people already dead and worst still, people who are gone in split seconds just in front of me.

i have so much fear and phobias inside me that i can't really voice out. it's confidential, it's not supposed to be said, it's too sensitive to talk about.

but what am i to do and how am i supposed to deal with the fact that i am now developing a fear for nites out on the roads and the corridors?

people can always say that they understand but how do they when they have not been to where i was and stood so near to fear but yet still putting up a brave front cause' you are not supposed to fear or even be afraid. I have seen myself jumped at the softest footstep and heard my very own heart skip a few too many beats.

i tried to cry it out but it does not work cause' the tears are refusing to drop.

recently i've been letting myself soak into the fantasy of HK Dramas cause' they are 'not that real'. i like the fact that these dramas are showing things and stuff that will least likely to happen in Life.

i like that. Though i am a realistic person and have a tendacy not to fall for unrealistic stuff, i think we all need to live in a unreal world once in a while.

i am almost done with my fears, facing up to it and confronting it bit by bit, though i still kind of imagine things once in a blue moon. Life will never be the same again.

But then, what does not kill you, makes you stronger.