alicia's little thot at 10:17 PM
i am posting this because i really feel like writing about something today.
But somehow rather, my thoughts ain't that organised..it's a little here and a little there..
So i shall see how my thoughts can run and the words on screen work together to bring it out..
today's topic shall be on.......
Love.
haha..yup..as usual..Love.
i am talking about it so often that i doubt i ever stopped..in my old blogs and in tones..
but Love today has a special meaning.
Cause' that was the main topic on Sunday's mass...
yes..you didn't read wrongly.
Once again..
Yes, I attended Sunday Mass.
Yes, Grace. It is true. And Jul, yes. I went.
haha..
i can imagine the both of you will be going like..
'ali went church..haha.'
yes, i can imagine that.
But back to the topic.
Love.
I don't know what got onto me that there was just this voice within me that kept on telling me that no matter how busy or rush i am..i MUST attend this sunday's mass.
Saturday was my morning shift..so i reached home near to midnight.
But for the whole of saturday..there's just this bugging thing in me to get my butt into church.
And i nicely set my alarm to 0930hrs..so that i'll have enough time to prepare and get to the 1100hrs mass..
well..i woke up early and reached the church early.
And the rest is history.
I told God about the stupid sins i have committed..
told him how sorry i truly am and how i intend to be a better person and a better Catholic.
I mean it~.
it's like there's this call by a guardian angel to get myself back to church and just be a better person.
i don't know what got onto me but i seriously am trying.
In church, i thought about so much stuff..and i had a good talk with God.
and it feels good for the whole of Sunday.
Like a happy sort of feeling.
haha.i am weird ain't i.
oh yeah, back to Love.
It's a wonder how a person's perception of Love changes with time and people.
When you are a baby, Love simply means mummy and daddy and milk and that good old smelly pillow..i used to call it 'ni-ni'...haha..and i even remember calling my booster 'pi-pi'..the good stinko smelly is just so good that it makes you sleep..
oh yeah..back to topic..
when you get a little older..Love means presents and toys..and having parents giving in to your demands..
and when you are in primary school..Love is giving more pocket money and allowing you to watch that drama serial on SBC..the old name for TCS..
and when you get to secondary school..Love is about being able to be with your 'stead' and just doing things that you do..like on TV and such..
and when you grow older and older..you will realised that Love has so much meaning and comes in so many forms that you would lose count of it should you decide to give a number..
Love is simply Love. and nothin' else.
But it is shown in so many different ways that different people understand it differently and show it differently.
there are people who choose to show Love loudly and there are also those who chose to keep it in the heart.
There are people out there who aren't afraid to show their love and keep the one they love by their side and keep all right logic out. Yet, there are also those who wait silently by the side for Love to blossom.
Love, to put it simply, ain't anything about possession or money or having someone by your side.
It is about Freedom. Freedom to let your love go.
It is about giving Love a chance and a choice. Not forcing or making it happen.
It is about being true to oneself and setting free your heart.
There is a saying that goes..
'Loving someone means letting him go..
if he comes back, he's yours.
if not, be glad that he was once yours.'
i used to think that it's a stupid thought..
if you love someone so much, then why give him up just like that?
but now that i am older..
i understand what it meant.
you can keep a man by your side..
but you can't keep his Heart.
Let him go and let yourself go.
Both of you will feel better this way.
To a close friend that confided in me his probs..
i can't help but write a note for you..
i don't really understand..
but booze and smokie ain't gonna take away the pain or hurt or memories..
it only provides a temporary relief..
no doubt that you need that destructive atmosphere for some time..
but you know you are overdoing it.
facing up to it is one thing.
Living with it is another.
It is truly difficult,
when she left you behind for someone supposedly better.
And you thought you had given your best.
all the gals can't be compared to her no matter how perfect they are..
cause' it was with her that you been thru' the worst and best times in life and learnt to be a better man.
I can't bring her back to you. I can't make time stop for anyone.
I can't provide extremely good advise cause' i am in a destructive mode too.
but let time take it all away.
Every passing day brings you nearer to healing a broken heart.
Hang in there.
Someday you will realised that what sounded like a love song now would be an ordinary song sometime down the road..
